User blog:AnimatronicClown/More about my Story
While my life is so much better now, I still struggle each day. I wanted to continue bits and pieces of my story to share with you all. Maybe it will help, or help you realize that there are others going through similar issues. Today, there are a few things on my mind. My mother's dad (I call him PaPa) is currently in hospice. He's been in hospice for...about a year now? Well, I won't go through everything, but I'll tell you the main points of this. He's in his early sixties. He's smoked since he was really young. Not long after my mother left, I recieved a call letting me know that he was diagnosed with lung cancer. That same day I found that out, I had recieved a black eye at school when a boy slammed my locker door in my face while I was retrieving my books. It was a horrible day all together, actually. The next morning, I went to school. I sat alone, drawing outside. Then, the boy's relatives came up to me, telling me I was faking the black eye, saying I did it to myself. I broke down that morning. It was too overwhelming. I cried alone by some soda machines until the bell rang for school to start. People just walked past me, glancing at me, then moving along. I had not one friend to comfort me. I hadn't even someone who cared enough to stop and ask if I was okay. I've felt this way for a very long time...ever since I can remember. Bullying has been a huge factor in my life, especially at school. There are a few instances that I'll share with you. All the way back in elementary school, before I moved, I remember all of it. I had no friends then, either. It's an odd thing to describe, sitting by yourself. Having absolutely nobody to talk with. I was a little bigger then. I was called fat constantly. Even then, I was called weird, and a freak, and creepy. I'm just different, I guess. I was pushed around, shoved, and most especially verbally bullied. I didn't have a mother to talk to about my problems because, as I said in a previous blog post, was a sad alcoholic. Though it's gotten a little better, I have 3 weeks left of my junior year in high school, and bullying is still something I deal with every, single day. Even as a 17 year old girl, I'm not an expert when it comes to what's in style at a certain time and what's not, or what hairstyle you need to wear, or how to paint your nails a certain way...blah, blah, blah. My disorders don't help with the bullying situation, of course. There's just a huge list of reasons. However, I made this wiki for people like me. In the past year, I've made AMAZING friends online that I am so very blessed to have. They have changed my life. It's nice to finally know what it's like to have actual friends. Here is a place where you can find that, too. I want you all to talk to us. The admins here are amazing people. We're going to be here for you. We've all been through tragic times. We'll understand, and we care so much. Category:Blog posts